We often hear of somebody being referred to as likeable but what exactly does this mean? Likeability is an elusive quality which can be difficult to pin down as it’s often so much more than its collective parts. For example, a person might be known for being extremely generous – but that doesn’t necessarily make them likeable. On the other hand, an individual may have some slightly dubious traits but is still held in high regard by others.
A lot of people operate under the misapprehension that likeability is something that you either have or you haven’t – been born with, but this isn’t strictly true. It is possible to increase your stock in this desirable quality.
How Do I Know If I’m Likeable?
This is far from an easy question to answer, however, likeable people usually share some common traits including:
- They enjoy a small to medium group of real friends
- They are the first call when people need help or advice
- They tend to avoid drama
- They are included in a wide range of events and activities
While this list is by no means exhaustive, these things are indicators of a person’s likeability. If you’re still not sure, why not take a three minute online test to see where you fall on the likeable scale?
How to become a more likeable person
In this article, we’ll look at six great tips on how to be more likeable in a real and actionable way:
Be your authentic self
Often, when we feel insecure, we’ll take on a fake persona – kind of like playing a role to make ourselves feel more comfortable. Unfortunately, this is rarely sustainable and so you risk being labelled a phoney. In most situations, it’s almost always best to be yourself. We’re not saying that you should throw caution to the wind and say every single thing that pops into your head but by staying true to yourself you’ll come across as a more genuine and likeable person.
Be generous
We’re not talking about flashing the cash here, rather being generous with your time and attention. Us humans can be a self-centred lot and it’s easy to get so wrapped up in ourselves that we come off as uncaring. By taking an interest in others and making time for them, we become known for our empathy and compassion which, in turn, makes us infinitely more likeable.
Be reliable
Many of us have somebody in our lives who is constantly canceling at the last minute or turning up late – and they’re usually not the most popular person in the group. Actions like this send a clear message of “my time is more valuable than yours” and can lead to resentment and even anger. Needless to say, a person who generates these emotions is unlikely to be considered “likeable”. Reliability is a valued trait in a friend or colleague and so working on this is an investment in your likeable stock.
Be positive
Picture the scene – an acquaintance has just bagged a great new job and your response is along the lines of “Won’t the commute be a nightmare?” or “It sounds really stressful”. Nothing dampens your likeability quicker than having a constantly pessimistic outlook. Negative people are often difficult to be around and others may choose to avoid them for fear of being brought down. Practice finding the best in any given situation and, just as importantly, think before you speak. Positivity and optimism are extremely attractive characteristics and ones which draw people to you rather than driving them away.
Be body-language aware
We’ve talked a little about what comes out of our mouths but that’s far from the only way that we communicate with others. Even when we’re tight-lipped, our bodies can give out signals that are a little off-putting. Identifying body language red flags like folded arms, lack of eye contact and smiling too much or too little – and then correcting them – can go a long way toward fixing your likeability.
Be the common denominator
When planning a party or event, people tend to invite people who are likely to get along with all or most of the other attendees. Finding something in common with others is a great way of setting yourself up as an asset to any given situation and therefore upping your likeability quota.
Like for like for a happier future
As we’ve shown in this article, becoming more likeable isn’t about being the life and soul of the party; nor is it about changing who you are. When people see themselves reflected in another person, they are automatically drawn to that person so:
- Ask questions
- Listen carefully
- Find common ground
- Pay sincere compliments
- Practice trustworthiness and reliability
By integrating these things into your daily life and changing a few habits, you will notice some very real changes in how you are perceived by others. You’ll not only be more likeable, but more successful, and (dare we say?) happier too!
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